October 19th 2005 I had a positive pregnancy test, but sadly November 7th I found out my pregnancy was ectopic. November 20th I had emergency surgery after two rounds of methotrexate failed. It was a very heartbreaking experience both physically and emotionally. It has taken many months of healing to overcome what has happened to me. Joyfully I found out in April that we have the okay to try again for another child.
Since November, I have been trying to deal with the miscarriage loss, physical loss of my tube, pregnancy symtoms that continued for several weeks while the hormones take time to readjust, physical exhaustion from the blood loss after surgery, uncertianty of our future fertility, and gaining the courage to try to conceive again. The last week in June (this month)would have been our due date if the pregnancy had been a healthy one.
Time is the best way to cope. But Also I deciced that I would like to make myself a this bracelet to symbolize our journey thru this ordeal.
I was given a handmade bracelet when David was born with our birthstones (Big David and myself) and Lil D's. I wear it almost every day. I absolutely love this bracelet.
I decided to copy the idea and make a bracelet symbolizing the life that we lost.
The butterfly is a symbol of the onset of a period of transformation. It can also be symbolic of a life cycle or learning to release the past and embrace the new. It can also symbolize the soul.
The green bead tourmaline is an October birthstone, symbolizing the month we conceived. The gold tone bead Topaz is November birthstone, symbolizing the month of the loss. The two daisies represent innocence of the soul.
I am really glad that I took the time to make this bracelet. It is something very personal and somthing that I really wanted to do and I really felt like I was ready now. I have taken the time to grieve and I am ready now to move on in our Trying to Conceive Journey.