Tuesday, June 14, 2011

June 14th

All day I knew there was something about this day.  Tonight when I was on my friend Karen's facebook page I saw this picture and I instantly remembered, in a sad way, what today is.  Today is the 3 year anniversay of Jenny's passing.  I hate cancer.  I hate that Jenny got cancer. I hate cancer for taking her life. 
(Jenny & Karen at the Beach House)

But what I am grateful for is being lucky enough to know Jenny and to share some really really great times with her.  She grew up in the same neighborhood I did, but I went to Catholic School and she went to public school.  One of the oldest memories of her, is when her and another girl asked us if we wanted to join their club "the pink ladies".  It sounds so funny asking someone to join a club in the neighborhood, but it was the 1980s, we watched happy days, clubs were cool...we were probably 8 years old.

We were friends in high school and better friends in college and thereafter.  The awesome thing about Jenny is her sense of humor.  I bet anyone would remember that about her.  She had the best set of friends anyone could ask for.  I love how her group of friends are all still close, ever since high school and we are approaching our 20th reunion.  Jenny is the kind of person that when we remininse, there is always that "remember the time that...." and then everyone laughs. Sometimes we can just mention silly word and it takes us right back to the Mary Lyons dorm at Plymouth State.   Jenny would act goofy, playing jokes, doing funny dance moves, and even attempting triple salchow's down Karen's street.  We have alot of really silly pictures we took back in the 1990's.  I am so glad I have those to look back on.

Jenny and I lost touch for a while as sometimes friendships do.  Then we reconnected and then she got sick.  I hate that I didn't see her much when she was sick. Looking back I think I really didn't know how to deal with it.  I didn't know what to do, I didn't know the right things to say.  I can't imagine how it was for her to battle cancer.  We did get to see each other in April 2007.  It was hard to see her without her beautiful long curly hair,  it was uncomfortable at first finding things to chat about but soon we were back to the way we used to be. I am happy that Jenny, Karen and I got to have that visit. 

Everytime I hear the song "Calling All Angels" by Train I think of her.  I don't really know why, I just do.  Randomly I will hear that song in my car, in the doctors office etc. I believe in angels and heaven and I know Jenny is there watching over us. For a while after her death, I would dream about her often.  I have always had really life-like dreams and in my dream she would always be healthy.   I so wish she was still here on earth.  I want her to be on facebook, I want to tell her some interesting gossip I heard, I want to be able to meet up with her out and our mutual friends for a drink.  Maybe we still wouldn't be close friends like we were back in the 90's, but I think if she still were alive, I would have a chance to see her out and about.  Knowing that will never ever happen now because cancer took her life really sucks.  I hate putting it that way, but that is how I feel, it is so unfair.

Jenny, I am grateful that I got to be part of your life.  I know you aren't suffering anymore, but you are loved and missed so dearly by so many people.  I cherish all of the times we shared and the memories that were formed.  May you always rest in peace. xo

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